Dear bf (best friend),

Hey you. Yes you. How are you there? Since I don’t want to say it to your pretty face, and admittedly I just can’t sit with you, ask you and talk about this thing I’m carrying on until today, so I decided to blog it down, (not mentioning even your name here). It’s been a long time since you’re so cold to me. I just don’t know why and how. And it really breaks my heart, even now. And what breaks my heart the most is that you don’t hear mine. It’s crazy I can’t let go of those memories we’ve shared, those single minutes you made me feel important and needed, those words you have spoken that brought me hope, life and intimacy to our Best Friend above, those clock’s tick-tacks I can hear in my mind whenever I’m chitchatting with you and those exchange of greetings during our friendship monthsaries and anniversaries. I just can’t move on and I don’t want to move on. Not even a single dot comes into my mind to give up on our friendship. I just can’t figure it out why our friendship become so cold, that we’re now like strangers. I’ve been into many friendships, but this one I have with you is different. You know why? Because the moment I made my COMMITMENT not to lose this friendship and that I would keep it no matter what, God has been my Witness. Yes, He is. And will always be. Though I have close friends, or friends closer than sisters, still I’m holding on to what I have committed in you. I just, can’t understand how and why. I so wanted to ask you personally but I don’t have that gut to do it. The pain increases whenever you’re near. I really tried to forget you, and the pain, but it was just an epic fail. The pain is weighty and I just can’t help it. I’m happy. Yes I am, no lies. But when it’s about you, I always sink. I miss you so much. Kinda weird but I rather admit it than deny and hide it. Will you please come back my best friend? Hah! Thick face that I ask this, but this is just what my heart says. I always pray to God that you would be always happy, in times you’re alone, and make you feel you’re not alone when nobody’s there. I can’t believe on myself that your text messages are still on my inbox, and your presents, I keep on keeping it, treasuring the friendship I believed God has given us. I want to walk this Christian life with you. I want to laugh with you. I want to talk to you as we were before. I still want you to be my best friend. And if I had only one friend left, I still would want it to be you. Been into stalking sometimes checking you’re goin. And I think, you’re doin good there. You don’t need me. Pity on me because I still need you, and that I want you. And, you’re not around. Well, maybe, I just have to accept this one truth: YOU WERE JUST MY BEST FRIEND.

And if, if, you will be able to read this letter, please, notify me. Tell me. Slap me. Kick me. Confront me. So I can punch you, kick you, and hug you. If only you know how I feel.

Love, bf