Dear bf (best friend),

Hey you. Yes you. How are you there? Since I don’t want to say it to your pretty face, and admittedly I just can’t sit with you, ask you and talk about this thing I’m carrying on until today, so I decided to blog it down, (not mentioning even your name here). It’s been a long time since you’re so cold to me. I just don’t know why and how. And it really breaks my heart, even now. And what breaks my heart the most is that you don’t hear mine. It’s crazy I can’t let go of those memories we’ve shared, those single minutes you made me feel important and needed, those words you have spoken that brought me hope, life and intimacy to our Best Friend above, those clock’s tick-tacks I can hear in my mind whenever I’m chitchatting with you and those exchange of greetings during our friendship monthsaries and anniversaries. I just can’t move on and I don’t want to move on. Not even a single dot comes into my mind to give up on our friendship. I just can’t figure it out why our friendship become so cold, that we’re now like strangers. I’ve been into many friendships, but this one I have with you is different. You know why? Because the moment I made my COMMITMENT not to lose this friendship and that I would keep it no matter what, God has been my Witness. Yes, He is. And will always be. Though I have close friends, or friends closer than sisters, still I’m holding on to what I have committed in you. I just, can’t understand how and why. I so wanted to ask you personally but I don’t have that gut to do it. The pain increases whenever you’re near. I really tried to forget you, and the pain, but it was just an epic fail. The pain is weighty and I just can’t help it. I’m happy. Yes I am, no lies. But when it’s about you, I always sink. I miss you so much. Kinda weird but I rather admit it than deny and hide it. Will you please come back my best friend? Hah! Thick face that I ask this, but this is just what my heart says. I always pray to God that you would be always happy, in times you’re alone, and make you feel you’re not alone when nobody’s there. I can’t believe on myself that your text messages are still on my inbox, and your presents, I keep on keeping it, treasuring the friendship I believed God has given us. I want to walk this Christian life with you. I want to laugh with you. I want to talk to you as we were before. I still want you to be my best friend. And if I had only one friend left, I still would want it to be you. Been into stalking sometimes checking you’re goin. And I think, you’re doin good there. You don’t need me. Pity on me because I still need you, and that I want you. And, you’re not around. Well, maybe, I just have to accept this one truth: YOU WERE JUST MY BEST FRIEND.

And if, if, you will be able to read this letter, please, notify me. Tell me. Slap me. Kick me. Confront me. So I can punch you, kick you, and hug you. If only you know how I feel.

Love, bf

7 INDICATIONS YOU'VE STOPPED LEADING by Ron Edmonson (worth sharing, worth posting)

Being in a leadership position is no guarantee we are leading. Holding the title of leader isn’t an indication one actually leads. Leading, by definition, is an active term. It means we are taking people somewhere. And, even the best leaders have periods—even if ever so briefly—even if intentional—when they aren’t necessarily leading anything. Obviously, those periods shouldn’t be too long or progress, or momentum eventually stalls, but leadership is an exhaustive process. It can be draining. Sometimes we need a break.

For an obvious example, I try to shut down at the end of every day and most Saturdays. I’m not leading anything—but I’m still a leader. And I periodically stop leading for a more extended period. During those times—I’m intentionally not leading anything. There are other times, such as after we’ve accomplished a major project, when I may intentionally “rest” from leading to catch my breath and rely on our current systems and structures to maintain us.

But, again, those times should be intentional and they shouldn't be too extended. In my experience, leaders get frustrated when they aren’t leading for too long a period.

For me personally, I like to evaluate my leadership over seasons rather than days. Typically, just for simplicity of calendar, I look at things on a quarterly basis and then on an annual basis. How/what am I going to lead this next quarter—next year? How/what did I lead last quarter—last year?

If the past review or the future planning is basically void of any intentional leadership—if all I’m doing is managing current programs and systems during that time frame—if we are in maintenance mode for too long—I know it’s time to intentionally lead something. That’s good for me personally and for the teams I lead.

How do you evaluate if you are leading or simply maintaining? One way is to look for the results of leading. What happens when you do lead? And ask if those are occurring.

For example …

Here are seven indicators that you’re not leading anymore:

1. Nothing is being changed. Leadership is about something new. Somewhere you haven’t been. That’s change. If nothing is changing—you can do that without a leader.

2. No paradigms are being challenged. Many times, the best change is a change of mindset—a way we think. Leaders are constantly learning so they can challenge the thinking “inside the box.”

3. You’re not asking questions. A leader only knows what he or she knows. Nothing more. And many times the leader is the last to know. A great part of leadership is about discovery. And you only get answers to questions you ask.

4. There are competing visions. Leaders point people to a vision. A vision. Not many visions. One of the surest ways to derail progress is to have multiple visions. It divides energy and people. It confuses instead of bringing clarity. When we fail to lead, competing visions arise and confusion elevates.

5. No one is complaining. You can’t lead anything involving worthwhile change where everyone agrees. If no one is complaining, someone is settling for less than best.

6. People aren’t being stretched. There are never moments of confusion. Please understand. A leader should strive for clarity. But, when things are changing and challenging, there will always be times of confusion. That’s when good leaders get even better at communicating, listening, vision casting, etc.

7. People being “happy” has become a goal. Everyone likes to be liked. Might we even say “popular.” In fact, some get into leadership for the notoriety. But the end goal of leadership should be accomplishing a vision—not making sure everyone loves the leader. Progress hopefully makes most people happy, but when the goal begins with happiness, in my experience, no one is ever really made happy.

Leader, have you been sitting idle for too long? Is it time to lead something again?

CAN PEOPLE REALLY CHANGE???

Surely there are things about yourself that you don’t like. So you change them, right? Well, not exactly. It’s more likely that you keep on doing them, even though you say you’d like to change them. So is the old adage, “A leopard can’t change his spots,” true? That people can’t change? No, people can change. But you can’t just snap your fingers and say goodbye to well-established patterns, even when those patterns result in bad consequences. Sure, you wish it could be easier. You may be impatient with yourself, giving yourself a good scold: “Just stop it already!” Oh, how I hate the word “just” when it pertains to change. We don’t change “just” because someone (even ourselves) wants us to. However, the opposite stance also is filled with flaws. Chase away those demons that tell you that you can’t change: it’s too hard, it’s not in your DNA, it requires excessive effort. Such a mindset will sabotage your efforts before you even begin. Though it’s true that “you are who you are” and that your personality structure “is what it is,” it’s not true that you can’t modify, alter, or tweak many aspects of how you behave. So, how do you change? It’s a process that begins with being aware. This may seem obvious, but it’s not. If you’re used to blaming everyone else for your problems, then you’re not aware. If you’re living your life in a daze, blaming bad luck, then you’re in denial. How are you ever going to change anything if you don’t own up to how your thinking and behavior help create the predicament you’re in? Self-awareness without judgment, similar to an anthropologist observing behavior in an attempt to understand it, is the first step. Yet, you can be fully aware of your bad habits and still not change. What’s missing? A no-nonsense commitment to change is what’s missing. Casual commitment won’t do. Going on a diet for a week doesn’t hack it. Add exercise to the mix for two weeks, it still doesn’t hack it. What’s a no-nonsense commitment to change? In your quiet moment of truth, when you’re alone and not under pressure by anything or anyone, you, your ‘executive’ self in harmony with your ‘emotional’ self, make a solemn pledge to change. No more excuses. No more magical thinking. No more self-sabotage. You know it won’t be easy, but so what? You’re committed to the goal. You acknowledge the need for self-discipline, perseverance, and hard work. You know why you want to change. You know who you want to be. You know that your actions need to adhere to your beliefs. You know it makes no sense claiming you want to change but then doing nothing about it. You’re tired of disappointing yourself. You’re fed up with feeling frustrated. You welcome change. You’re ready to go. You get off your butt. And you get off your excuse-making ‘but.’ Adopting new ways rarely comes comfortably at first. You may feel a lot of resistance to change. But if you think about change as an opportunity to grow, not as an unwanted burden, amazing things can happen. There's one said, “A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.” So, whether you are years younger than fifty or years older than fifty, I hope you make the change you want. Don’t let rigidity or fear stifle your growth. Don’t get down on yourself by believing that just because everything hasn’t changed, nothing has changed. Even moderate change can reap meaningful benefits. And here’s the best news of all. Change that moves in a positive direction will not only expand your confidence, it can enrich your relationships, enhance your career, and empower your well-being. Wow, what a payoff!

He's not mad at you! Never!

Naturally, when we’ve wronged someone, it’s easier to avoid them than to face potential rejection. People unconsciously do the same thing to God. They think He’s mad at them or disappointed in them or that He is waiting to punish them because of their past sins and mistakes. But God isn’t like that. He’s not mad. He’s madly in love with us! He won’t reject anyone who comes to Him! He’s not waiting to punish us -- Jesus already took our punishment on the cross 2,000 years ago! Now, He’s waiting for us to receive His Gift of GRACE. He’s waiting with arms wide open. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done, His kindness leads us to repentance. Don’t let fear or condemnation hold you back. That’s a lie from the enemy. Come back to Him. Experience His goodness again. Trust His faithfulness. He promised that He’ll never leave you nor forsake you. Don’t wait another minute -- He is ready and waiting for you to come and know His kindness. “...God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance.” (Romans 2:4, NIV)

STUMBLE INTO GOD'S BLESSINGS! :))

God has already prepared paths for you to take in your future! When God laid out the plan for your life, He lined up the right people, the right circumstances and the right breaks. In your future, He’s already released favor, supernatural opportunities and divine connections. The breaks you need in life have already been preordained to come across your path. If you will stay in faith and go out each day and be a person of excellence, you’ll walk right into these appointments of favor. It will be just as if you stumbled into God’s blessings! When you really understand this principle, you’ll begin to get excited about every single day! You’ll have a spring in your step as you think about what blessing is coming next. It could be today. It could be tomorrow. It could be next week. Keep expecting. Keep believing. Stay focused on the fact that God has already released into your future everything you need to fulfill your destiny. Start declaring seasons of increase over your life. Declare that favor is on you! “For we are God’s [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live].” (Ephesians 2:10, AMP)

HOW TO MANAGE YOUR TIME

STEPS:

1. Prepare yourself first, by taking 30 minutes of your time to fix yourself something to eat and relax. Then Make a list of the tasks you need to accomplish. But before you can manage your time, you need to know what it is you must manage. A list of tasks, from the mundane to the critical, will help you get a handle on what needs to get done.

*Assign realistic priorities to each task:

Priority 1: due today by 6pm

Priority 2: due tomorrow by 6pm

Priority 3: due by the end of the week

Priority 4: due during next week

*You can further prioritize tasks within this grouping by adding a decimal place. For example, a Priority 1.0 task needs to be done immediately, whereas a Priority 1.5 task simply needs to be done by the end of day.

2. Balance your effort. Work on small portions every day of work that will be due by the end of the week, starting with the most important tasks first.

*Do today's tasks. Concentrate On what is at hand, do not allow yourself to lose focus. Then move on to the next daily task. Once today's tasks are completed, mark them as such, and proceed to tomorrow's tasks.

*When tomorrow's tasks are complete, work on the other tasks due by the end of the week, and when those are complete, work on the tasks due early next week. A small portion of each is better than one huge,laborious task and will keep your time managed more efficiently and reduce stress and eliminate burn-out.

*Make one of your final daily tasks the completion of tomorrow's task list. Each day should be ended with a new task sheet for tomorrow to keep you on track.

3. Focus on your most productive time of day. Some people work better in the morning, and some are more focused in the evening.

4. Manage time in increments. Play a game with yourself by competing against the clock. Work in fifteen minute, half hour or hour intervals,scientifically it is known that 45 minutes work followed by a 10 minutes rest is the best for the average studier.

*Give yourself a time goal to complete a portion of a task or the entire task.

5. Take a break. Clear your mind and refresh yourself to refocus.

*Decide beforehand on a 5, 10 or 15 minute break and stick to that decision.

*Breaks provide incentive by giving you something to look forward to having.

6. Keep track of your progress.

*Cross things off the list as they are completed.

*You'll feel more relieved and relaxed just by getting through the daily tasks. Not only will you be getting things done, finishing tasks will give you a sense of accomplishment and spur motivation.

7. Reassess the list. Rewrite and prioritize your list on a regular basis.

*Add new tasks to the list. This should be done on a daily basis, especially when you are just getting started with a time management regimen.

*Eliminate or adjust tasks that are completed, or fall in priority.

*Delegate tasks to others. Contrary to popular belief, you don't need to do it all. You can be much more effective if you can delegate tasks as necessary.

*Use technology to complete tasks more quickly, efficiently or accurately. Today's mobile technology features dozens, if not hundreds of apps that will help you manage—and even accomplish—your tasks efficiently.

8. Leave time for fun. While there are times when we just need to power through a large project, it's important to give yourself time to let loose. Not only will it refresh your mind, it's good for your body, too. It doesn't have to be a lot of time but make sure that you do!

9. Sleep for 7-9 hours every night. Getting the proper amount of sleep will help keep you alert and energetic, able to think clearly, and function at a high level.

TIPS:

*Set your own rules to measure your achievement per time intervals.

*Don't "spread yourself too thin" by overwhelming your day with an unrealistic schedule that would be difficult to accomplish.

*Take advantage of all the small gaps of time that tend to go wasted during the day. Whether it's the 15 minutes you have between class and lunch, or the twenty minutes from when you wake up in the morning to when your kids wake up, use those spare minutes to accomplish something, because little increments of time add up.

*Beware the Pareto Principle. One of the greatest time wasters is spending 95% of one's time on 5% of the tasks needed to be completed. The assumption is that this is a reality because the 5% seem to be the most profitable. This is not always the case.

*Be flexible and relax. Allow for the unexpected in life. Other things may take precedence over a rigid and methodical routine. With most unusual circumstances, it may take no more than an hour or a few days to return to your usual schedule.

*Set aside the concept of "everything has to be done yesterday" in order to create realistic priorities.

*Keep track of your productive time with a chess clock. Set up a more realistic schedule once you understand the actual time it takes to complete a task. Just knowing that a certain task will take no more than a half hour will motivate you to complete it.

*Pick subjects and not verbs. List ideas and allot time per subject.

*Managing your time can be as simple as scrawling the day's tasks on a piece of paper, or as complex as a spreadsheet with linked tables and calendars. The supplies you need will be dictated by the method you choose.

*Do a task beginning to end. You know those "I deserve a cookie!" moments? those are good. set way-points, and each time you reach one, reward yourself with something that takes little time, and if to be done during the project, little concentration.

HAVE A TIME FOR YOURSELF! :))

May this help you in becoming better.. :)) GOD BLESS YA'LL!